Aug 22, 2024

Why I wrote and published a novel

While in university, I decided to write a historical fiction novel, Purple is the Noblest Shroud. At the end of my second year, despite having a full-time internship lined up and half of my degree to go, I committed myself to spending the next 12 months researching, writing, (re-writing), editing, and publishing a novel I knew wouldn't make money or gain a wide readership (though a small part of me hoped I might!).

Here’s why.

The universe conspired in my favour

The summer of 2020 was the perfect time to write a book.

1. COVID was starting, which meant I would be homebound indefinitely.
2. It was the last summer before I had to start putting serious work into job hunting and completing my Capstone project.
3. I had a summer internship but wasn’t particularly excited about it.

I love packing my days, and the last thing I wanted to be was bored that summer, so it seemed that life was telling me to write a book.

But I didn't actually want to write a book. I wanted to produce virtual historical walking tours.

I was inspired by the final project for one of my history courses and was exploring the idea of being a museum curator or historian.

It seemed perfectly timed that I learned about the PEP (Portfolio Expansion Project) Fellowship before the summer started. When I pitched my idea to Eric Koester, who was vetting applications for the fellowship, he convinced me I should write a book instead.

I don't remember his specific arguments, but I was swayed by:

• Writing being a less painful process than video production
• Eric’s conviction that writing a book was a better idea
• The possibility of fulfilling one of my childhood dreams

The fellowship also offered a unique opportunity for mentorship, community, and structure at a time when I was brimming with energy.

Having the opportunity to write this book is one of the few moments in my life that I'd call perfect.

Captivated by a love story

Around this time, I was binging history videos on YouTube: from mythology and architecture on Overly Sarcastic Productions to the history and remaking of old recipes on Tasting History and the beautifully animated and crafted narratives from Extra History.

I had watched the Extra History series on Justinian and Theodora and got stuck on a question: Why did Justinian marry Theodora? And why did it seem like he really loved her?

Most marriages in the past were driven primarily by politics, money or status. Tolerating each other was a blessing, and a marriage of love was a rarity, especially for emperors!

Yet Justinian defied all rational politicking to marry Theodora, an actress—the equivalent status of a prostitute in early Christian history. She had no status, wealth, or connections. Marrying her actively disadvantaged him.

Not only that, but she bore him no heirs in their 20 years of marriage. He was an ambitious emperor, gobbling up territories surrounding the Byzantine Empire—a feat that made the empire the largest it would ever be. This was the time to secure his legacy with an heir. Yet, he did not try to divorce her or take a second wife.

To top it all off, even when Theodora died almost 20 years before Justinian, he never remarried. He was also said to have gone through a period of deep mourning afterwards and continued to champion Theodora’s religious and women’s rights causes.

These actions spoke volumes of Justinian’s love, more so than any monument or grand speech. I wanted to find out why he was so taken with Theodora and to figure out if Theodora loved Justinian as well. There was a lot for her to gain, even in pretending to love him or simply accepting his love.

Once I started digging, I found much more depth to Theodora and decided to do justice to the story of a powerful, inspiring woman.

Fulfilling the dreams of my younger self

When I was young, I thought I might become a writer.

10-year-old me bound A4 pages of a 'book' she wrote. She was secretly proud of her work, even though she knew it wasn’t half as good as the books she loved reading. She filled notebooks with stories and wondered if she would ever muster the creativity and talent to finish just one of them.

The idea of writing a book felt too daunting, too ambitious, too big. Before she even finished writing the first chapter, she compared her work to bestsellers, inevitably disappointing her expectations.

Still, she believed she was good at writing. People told her she wrote well. But the illusion fell away when her English grades stopped reflecting this self-perception. Her English teachers gave her vague comments on improving, and she ultimately had to take English tuition just to get the grade.

Long after she stopped trying to be a writer, she continued to wonder — what if?

I’ve held onto the dreams of my younger self and can now tell her: “You wrote a book.”

📖 You can see what the manifestation of this dream looks like here!